Overcoming Social Pressure: How to Answer “Why Aren’t You Drinking?” or “Just Have One”
The holidays are full of occasions where alcohol seems to be everywhere. Whether it’s a family get-together, New Year’s Eve with friends, or an office holiday party, there is no shortage of drinks this time of year.
It can be challenging to overcome social pressure to drink. People may ask, “Why aren’t you drinking?” or say, “Just have one.”
Whether you’re cutting back for the holiday season or completely avoiding alcohol, you can still enjoy social events without giving in to the social pressure to drink. Here’s how you can deal with that pressure and stick to your goals this time of year.
The Dreaded Question: “Where’s Your Drink?”
Some people have the best intentions when they’re wondering where your glass of wine, bottle of beer, or tumbler of scotch is. People want to be proper hosts, and if everyone is drinking and you’re sans glass (or red cup), they may ask you if you need a drink.
The best way to respond to this question is by already having a drink in your hand, whether it be sparking water, non-spiked cider, or soda. That way, you can simply raise your cup to show them you’re good to go.
If, however, you’ve missed the opportunity to grab a drink or have only just arrived, try these other responses:
“I’m not drinking tonight, but thank you so much. Can you point me to the water?”
“I’m going to pass tonight, but I’d love soda if you have any.”
“A glass of water would be great, please.”
“I’m cutting back this year, but thanks!”
When the Pressure’s On—Responding to “Why Aren’t You Drinking?”
Other people may go a bit further than a host (or acquaintance) should and ask, “Why aren’t you drinking?” There are a few ways you can respond to this.
First, if you’re not comfortable sharing, don’t be afraid to be assertive and address their question directly:
“I’m not comfortable answering that, but I appreciate your concern.”
“That’s a loaded question, and one I’m not ready to answer.”
“This isn’t the time or place for that conversation.”
“I’ll let you know when I’m ready to discuss that topic.”
You can always end a reply with a question, which helps take the attention off you and redirect people. For example, you can finish with, “May I have some soda or water?” or “Which way to the appetizers?”
If you’re comfortable sharing a bit more, you can try whatever phrase feels most appropriate for you:
“I’m cutting back on drinking this year—an early New Year’s Resolution!”
“I’ve noticed I’ve been drinking more than usual, so I’m hitting the pause button.”
“My jeans are telling me to skip the booze for the rest of the season.”
“I just really want to enjoy tonight, sober.”
“I don’t feel good when I drink, so I’m avoiding alcohol.”
When They Say, “Just Have One”
You may have well-meaning friends or relatives who think you need alcohol to have a good time or relieve stress. These people may try to pressure you into drinking by saying, “Just have one”, or “Don’t make me drink alone!”.
Again, don’t be afraid to be direct here if you feel uncomfortable. Try saying:
“Please don’t pressure me to drink; it makes me uncomfortable.”
“I’m responsible for making decisions for myself, thanks.”
“I said no.”
“No, thank you.”
“No.”
“I’d rather not.”
“Maybe another time.”
“Not tonight, thanks.”
“I’m sticking with my decision.”
If you feel a bit more comfortable or want to inject some humor into what can feel like an awkward situation, try saying:
“I would, but my doctor won’t let me.”
“And drink all those extra calories I could eat in cookies? No thank you!”
“That bartender looks a bit sketchy to me.”
“Nope, I’ve got a date with my treadmill bright and early tomorrow.”
“I’m getting a big head start on beach bod season, so no.”
You Can Make It Through the Holidays Sober
Getting through the holidays sober isn’t always easy, but you don’t have to give in to the social pressure to drink when you don’t want to. Instead, try some of these phrases and stick to your decision when people pressure you to drink this holiday!