Episode 12: Clearing out the Corners with Gabby Reece
Robbie Shaw:
This is Champagne Problems, where we come together to explore the gray areas of drinking. This is a judgment free zone where we can all take a look at how we make decisions about our relationship with alcohol.
Welcome back everybody. We are here today with a special guest today. We're bringing in Gabby Reece. Gabby is causing me a panic attack. How do I list off all of her things? She started playing volleyball at Florida State University, and then went on to be a pro beach volleyball player. She was the first female spokesperson for Nike. She also was the first female to have a shoe created for her in the Nike brand.
I mean, total stud. And then she had this illustrious modeling career. She was an announcer on MTV, ESPN, the Goodwill Games. She's written two books. I think she's done some acting. And then she's married to a gentleman by the name of Laird Hamilton, if anybody knows who that is. If you don't, he is a big wave surfer.
Patrick Balsley:
I missed out, but it's been cool to reconnect with her and see that her career has moved into the health and wellness space.
Robbie Shaw:
Yeah. And that's pretty much how I got in touch with her, because she and her husband, Laird, created a fitness program called XPT, Extreme Performance Training. And I've been a part of that for probably a year and a half now, so I reached out to her directly.
Patrick Balsley:
I've heard about her and she was reintroduced in my life, when you started talking about XPT, and how you were going on this trip with them. You started talking to me about that six or eight months ago. And ever since then, I started looking into what she's doing and what Laird is doing. My wife buys Laird Superfood, and we got it in our fridge. And I started putting it in my coffee, and it's delicious. And then, now, she's coming on our show.
Ever since you started talking to her, I've been digging into some of her stuff, and a lot of what she does totally aligns with our mission and the information that we're trying to put out for people. I think this is going to be a really interesting conversation.
Getting to Know Gabby Reece
Robbie Shaw:
I agree. I can't wait. Let's get it going.
A good place to start is getting to know Gabby Reece. And I'm going to preface that by saying I'm more in your generation than most. I'm probably a few years younger than you, but I grew up in the '80s and '90s. So I know you, I know who you are.
Patrick does too. Knows you very well from, obviously, pro beach volleyball, MTV, ESPN, freaking Nike, modeling, your whole resume from the past. But I would love to know all you have your hands in today. All the highlights.
Gabby Reece:
Starting with my real life, I have my hands in family. My children are certainly getting bigger. I currently only have one at home. I have three daughters. I have a 17-year-old, right now, who's in Europe at tennis academy, and a grown adult daughter. And I have a 13-year-old at home.
I have a few businesses, one being XPT, which is based off of something that my husband and I were doing, and we created the fitness arm of our business, which is XPT. We are co-creators and owners in a food company that we actually just took public last September called Laird Superfood. Laird happens to be my husband. I have a podcast called the Gabby Reece Show. And I have my hand in a few other things, but it just gets really boring after a while.
Robbie Shaw:
Awesome. So let's do a deeper dive into XPT. Not only because I'm an active member in it, but the mission and the philosophy I think really will resonate with our listeners.
Gabby Reece:
The thing about XPT is, we had some lifestyle habits that many people share. The pillars of it are breathe, move, and recover. And the reasons that we put those in there was, fundamentally, the essence of life is breathing. And because of our modern living, a lot of us don't do it well, but you'll see lots of conversations around breathing now. Whether it's James Nester or Patrick McKeown or Wim Hof or Brian MacKenzie, there's just a ton of people talking about breathing. Which is important, because it's free and you can do it anywhere, and it's a tool.
We have movement because I think people have this idea that health and fitness is food and movement, and certainly movement is important, and that's how our bodies are built. And I feel like getting to the hard stuff is made easier when you move. For me, if you say, "Why do you care about being healthy?" It's actually because it's the way I feel productive. I don't feel as bummed out as I might normally. I think I can interact better with people. Sometimes I have more clarity, just a different and better perspective.
And then recovery. Breathe, move, and recovery. We don't give enough honor to this idea of recovering. And it isn't take a day off and sit on the couch, it's participating in recovery, whether it's a meditation practice, whether it's going to do something that's fun, whether it's heat and ice, whether, for certain people, if they had the opportunity to get their bodies and their muscles worked on things like that.
So XPT encompasses all of these things, where it's a target, if you will. If you ever meet somebody and they go, "Oh, this is how you're healthy. This is how you should move. And this is how you should eat. I think you should run." I think every person is different. I think we're at different places in our lives at different times. So it's actually an ongoing conversation. XPT is like, hey, this is what we know now. Okay, if you're a vegan, how do you do that best? Okay, if you eat animal protein, how do you do that best? If you work 12 hours a day, how do you manage that?
And it's that moving conversation to actually push people, to figure out what really genuinely works for them at that time. But also to keep checking in and asking the question, because it does change. And so does XPT.
Robbie Shaw:
That is gold. When you said not feeling bummed out, so much of what we do in our lives, we work in the world of mental health, that is such a carryover from all that you do with XPT. Physical, yes, obviously, but mental, it's got to be hugely beneficial. Can you speak to that?
Gabby Reece:
Listen, I say that Laird is the creative motor behind XPT. And one of the things he discusses a lot is, it's everything. So when you hear people say, "Oh, it's a lifestyle." It's like, we all want to throw up on that at this point. But the point is, it's actually, what your friendships are like, what your family dynamics are like, how you've set boundaries at work, how you're sleeping, what you're reading, what you're listening to, how you're speaking, how you're talking about other situations or other people. He always says, "It's all the spokes and the tire, make how the wheel spins."
Patrick Balsley:
I love that.
Gabby Reece:
I know some of the greatest head cases that weigh their food and train with all their gadgets on and have all what their sleep was and how many calories they burned. So it's really making sure to remind people that, yes, physical health helps you support your mental and emotional health better. And if you said the number one reason to do it, it's to always take into consideration that holistic relationship.
Robbie Shaw:
Yeah. It sets an expectation that's not realistic.
Laird Superfood: A Happy Accident
Patrick Balsley:
It's not. I love how XPT is holistic and covers all these different dimensions. Because I feel like one of the ways that we go wrong in the health and wellness industry and as mental health practitioners, like myself, is we get too focused on one dimension or the other, and we don't look at this thing holistically and cover all those bases. My wife says, "Hi," by the way. She's a big fan.
And we have Laird Superfood all over the place at home. How did you guys get involved with Laird Superfood? How'd that come about?
Gabby Reece:
It's a happy accident. So both Laird and I have been entrepreneurs, because we come from such small sports that we always are doing these other jobs. I was doing television or writing or what have you, because you're in this hustle. Well, I'd say for over 20 years more, probably, 27 years, Laird's been really interested in coffee and used caffeine for surfing and energy and things like that. And then Paul Chek, I don't know if you know who that is, in certain ways has always been very ahead. He used to give Laird, 17, 18 years ago, ghee in his coffee.
And then those two lunatics, I'd be standing in the gym waiting for them. And I could hear them, while just getting jacked up. It was the idea of fat and caffeine and the time release. And then Laird was like, "Oh I can perform longer." So the thing is, Laird has guys come over and train all the time. And if anything works for him, he will share it with all of his friends. So he would give it to his friends before they'd all train.
And then we had a friend, Paul Hodge, who is other co-founder of Laird Superfood, and he'd come to Hawaii, and then he'd go to Laird's bar and he'd make him this concoction, he'd go out and surf and be like, "What is in that?" He thought “Laird, we can make this.” And so Paul made the powder, and I think by the third iteration he had what's now the original creamer. And that company was started in 2015, and it was not on purpose. We've tried other things on purpose and they were not successful.
It is one of those things where maybe when you are going along through life, it brings you things in from directions that you couldn't expect, but because you were being consistent and you had your head down and you were sort of working along, it came in a fashion. It's been a very special journey with that company, for sure.
Patrick Balsley:
No, it seems like that's kind of what happens when you try to make things better from a heart-centered approach, it seems to catch fire. That's awesome.
Gabby Reece:
I always say, always to do the right thing or to tell the truth or to say, no, even when you can't afford to, because it's not something that really represents who you are. It is scarier. But if we talk about success long-term... That's the thing, it's like, are we talking about the long-term? Are we talking about the long story or are we talking about the short story? That it always finds a way to work out, if we just can hold the line. Even when it's hard or it sucks, because, in the end, there's sort of no real alternative to that.
Robbie Shaw:
I love it. I mean we have Laird Superfood all over the place, the morning stuff, the lemon and the cayenne.
Gabby Reece:
Oh, the Activate.
Robbie Shaw:
Oh, my God. That stuff is so great. I love the topic, gut health. I mean, I know you're knowledgeable in that and I would just love to hear you talk about it. And I think Laird Superfood, probably, flows into that. Is the superfood more of a fuel than it is a healthy option?
Gabby Reece:
No, it's a fair thing. And what's cool is, as the brand grows, we have an opportunity to do more specialized products. For example, we have a green's product that has Shilajit and some other more aggressive ingredients in it. And so what started out as, okay, if people are drinking coffee every day, it is a daily habit, can we give you something that will support your overall sense of wellbeing and health? And we're not asking you to train for two hours a day or really switch up something, you're already doing it. So that was one of the original things behind Laird Superfood. And also every product actually has a function, so, for example, every creamer has Aquamin, which is a mineral. We're all pretty much mineral deficient, so every single creamer has this mineral, the Aquamin in it.
And so the idea is, let's support you where you are. We have our own factory, so we try to keep costs down. Because we're trying not to make this an exclusive offering, because I always say, the people who need it the most, they're the ones who don't have it. And it's like, everyone who's eating organic and has trainers, they're doing okay, right?
So how do we realistically try to do that, and create a viable business? So we say better food, better you. We're trying to meet people where they're at, and then slip in some really great stuff in there.
But if you're talking about straight gut health, I mean, you would have additional practices, right? You'd be eating fermented foods. You'd be doing certain things to really support your gut. I think we have to actively pursue supporting our gut health. And, also, knowing, for example, if you go on a cycle of antibiotics, because you couldn't help it, then what are you going to do after to help replenish your gut? Because it can take a really long time to help the gut restore. And so I think, for me, it's those small practices. So probiotics, knowing how to do it, generally, an empty stomach. Fermented foods, for real, not, everybody's in love with that. But I think implementing a little bit of that into your daily nutrition is pretty valuable over the long run.
The Connection Between Mental & Physical Health
Patrick Balsley:
How is that correlated with mental health?
Gabby Reece:
Well, we have more serotonin receptors in our gut than we do in our brain. So when you're talking about, "Oh, I feel good," or, "I have a sense of wellbeing," we have to realize that they are like twins of each other. And so I think there's ways that we can support our sense of wellbeing through good gut health. And it's interesting, because you could be like, "Well, my life's going pretty good. And I'm feeling off or I'm feeling anxious or I'm feeling all these things," and we could just have something sort of going awry in our gut that we're not aware of.
There's a book about gut health where they basically imply that we're really just here to be colonized for the bacteria in our gut. It's plainly about them and not even us, and how we don't even develop certain things in our own physical function, because we're in cooperation with some of these bacterias to do the job for us. So we'll take it up to a certain point and they sort of finish the job.
And so I just think people have to realize that it sounds woo woo, but it's a real thing. And so to take that into consideration, again, how do we make it easier to be human? Because we naturally, biologically do things, we're naturally anxious, for real reasons. We're always seeking comfort, because that's who we are. However, that works against us, if we do it too much.
So it's like, how do we just consider our biology in the modern world that we live in? Because I don't think there's really a way around our biology yet. They haven't figured out how to just take our head off and stick it on a machine. And everybody wants to forget about it. But I feel like when we can at least consider it daily, I feel that mental health seems easier for it to float in and out of our days.
Patrick Balsley:
Man, that's a whole episode right there. Just the marketing and the capitalism and all the bullshit that's out there that we have to fend off just to be healthy, affordable and accessible and those kinds of things.
Gabby Reece:
And it's confusing. The other thing is, and I really feel for people, is that we have all this information coming at us. I'll give you a quick example, I just had a call with one of my food scientists from our company, and there's someone within the company that's created a board that is still confused, why we're not allowed to use safflower oil, because, obviously, it would make costs go down. This is inside our own company.
So my point is, for people who are trying to navigate this, it is confusing. And people also feel like they don't know where to start, or they don't feel in charge of it, or I can't get in control of this. And it's really reasonable and fair, so can you start simply? And what are the things that you can control? And remind people or support them, even when it doesn't feel like your choices really matter.
And sometimes it might even take a minute to start seeing the rewards of those better choices, even when it's hard. And so, I guess, for me, it would be really keeping it simple. You have to get to bed. A certain amount of time on your phone is probably unavoidable, keep that in check.
Patrick Balsley:
Oh, it's the worst.
Gabby Reece:
I have a friend who just went through something with a 13-year-old, and he goes, "It may not be the devil, but it's the path to hell." And I think it's really important for people to say, "Okay, let me figure out a schedule that works. And let me get on top of this. Let me put a system in place where I can be successful, and my phone is away from me."
So if you have a choice between everything to drink, just drink water if you're confused. There are some things out there that are getting better. Companies like Spindrift, they don't have a bunch of ingredients. My husband, when he stopped drinking, the Pellegrino was in place of the wine bottle. And that was a great transition, because it was something. He also ate a lot of desserts for that time, until he realized the sugar addiction component to alcohol, obviously. And it's like, if cheesecake isn't going to ruin your life, then maybe you can give yourself some grace if you're going to do that for three months, when you quit drinking, it's fine.
Patrick Balsley:
A little harm reduction.
Gabby Reece:
Yeah. Let's start somewhere. Everyone goes, "Well, I'm Keto." "I'm this, I'm that." It's like, okay, that's fine too, but unless you really understand what you're doing, just try to eat real food. It's that simple. And if you wanted to have a sub sandwich, fine, but it would be better to make it at home. Because if you go out and have it, you actually don't really know what's in there. I always say to people that the oils that we eat really kick our ass in a real way. So if you start looking at all the ingredients, they're all in there. So it's, how do we simplify that? It's olive oil, it's avocado oil, it's coconut oil. And for some people they would say certain red palm oil has some benefits, and it's very good with high heat.
It’s just giving people really simple direction, but empowering them with the idea that, these choices, they do make a difference. They will support me. They will make me feel better. Even if, at the moment, I'm not feeling that way. And you got to move around. There's The Comfort Crisis book, and he talks a lot about 20 minutes, three times a week, even if you live in a city, so your brain isn't like constantly directing and focused. Walk around, not on your phone, in soft focus, not even listening to a podcast. Because they talk about the sense of wellbeing, increasing exponentially, for people participating in that.
Because, again, it just doesn't happen. And for me, it's your relationships. Are we all living in our truth as much as we can without burning down buildings and burning bridges with family members? But also saying things like, "Hey, does this make me feel good when I'm in this dynamic? Does this work for me?" And be okay with having to say to certain people like, "Hey, I love you, but right now, I really can't be around you." And that's hard, but I think those are the big ones.
I had to build healthy boundaries like, hey, this is what works for me. And I don't need to feel guilty for that. Because I have a job, three daughters and a husband, and I'm just going to take ownership. And it's all in love. So I think it's even cleaning those corners for people. Those are hard. Those are really hard.
Patrick Balsley:
And those affect your ability to do all the things that you want to do for your own health too. Those boundaries are crucial.
Gabby Reece’s Holistic Health Plan
Robbie Shaw:
Well, I mean that's a topic that goes right over into the alcohol world, just incredibly.
The social pressures and the normalization and the culture, we'll dig into that in a second. But all right, let me shift, tell us about your kids. What are their ages?
Gabby Reece:
My husband came with a four-month-old who is 26 tomorrow. So I was a stepmom for about eight years before we then had our next two daughters, my 17-year-old, Reece, and then my 13-year-old daughter, Brody. And of course they're great people, but they're non-compliant and-
Patrick Balsley:
I bet they're awful athletes.
Gabby Reece:
You know what's interesting, my middle has sort of gravitated towards it. My oldest is very academic, very smart. And she told me when she was 15, "I don't want to do athletics for my job." And I was like, "Okay, first of all, your dad has like this calling and me that was like my ticket out. So if you have other options, like you're bright and we can send you to, whatever, USC, which is where she graduated from. It's like, have at it. We did what we could do, and what was available to us."
And then my middle is playing tennis. And my youngest daughter, who is very athletic, is like, "I don't want to be like you." So I think that people have to remember, almost in every home, it's like jumping out of the nest. If you talk to them about potato chips, they're going to push back.
But if you really just have good food around and make nothing taboo, I make nothing taboo. It's like, "Yeah, do what you want." And they don't, and it's because of what ultimately we are modeling. And then what's interesting is they all, independently, feel better when they eat better. And they know the difference. But I am not one of those parents... We don't make anything "taboo,” and in fact, I think Laird is a little more like, "Ugh.” But I understand, not only believing in them, but the defiance. Both of us, my husband and I, are both directly defiant people. Why would we not think our children are defiant?
And they all arrive at these better choices when they understand for themselves. But do I worry, like every parent about my kids and their future. A gazillion percent. Do I question all of my choices? Every day. I said to Laird the other day, "I sometimes am so tired of being unsure as a parent, because it means so much to me." Laird always says, "Parenting's for us to grow up." He's like, "That's what it is." He's like, "They're going to grow up." But there's a lot of learning and being unsure, and then saying, "Okay, let me try to be the best example I can be and love them and have faith."
Patrick Balsley:
When you talk about modeling healthy behaviors for your kids, instead of pushing them to do certain things that you want them to do. What does Gabby Reece's holistic health plan look like? What are your daily habits in regards to sleep, exercise, diet, meditation practices? Run us through a quick day of what you do.
Gabby Reece:
So I have coffee and fats in the morning, and then, if I'm training really hard, I'll have lunch. And if not, I'll use that as the gap and then have a big dinner, or I'll use that as the big meal, and then not have anything for the rest of the day. We're also big into family dinner, so there's a lot of dinner and things. And my diet is not rocket science. It's just real food. It doesn't mean I've never touched chocolate. It's like I said, "I don't drink. I'm not smoking. I'm not doing anything." So I'm not asking them or getting them to consider taking care of themselves in a way that I'm not, more importantly.
I'm not like, "Yeah, I need you to not drink," and then I'm there with my martini every day at 4:30. It's also how I treat them. I try my best to treat them with a lot of respect and communicate to them in a way that I would want to be communicated with.
Going back to my habits, I train at a high intensity three days a week, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, which takes about 75 minutes. Change it up all the time. If I have access to a place where there's a pool, we do pool training three days a week. I will usually attach my heat and ice to those days. Laird, typically, can do heat, and then heat and ice on off days himself. I get there less, because it's like, if you're finishing work or food or dinner or whatever, it usually goes by the wayside.
Meditation is not a big one for me. What I do is, I say I have active meditation. So every chance I get when I'm alone in my car, when I'm in the shower, I will do a personal interior survey.
Because everything that's the issue, at least you're perceiving as the issue, at that moment, it's clear. It's not backed into five years of things or something that you said like a long time ago. Or if it's a work thing, it's like, "Oh, okay. I can see the line goes right to that moment." And I can deal with that moment and deal with it.”
I go to bed pretty early. I'd say by 9:00, 9:30. Consistency, I have a system in place to help me be successful. I'm not better at this than anyone else. I just have understood the system I need. So for example, I will train with other people, so I'm scheduled, I'm accountable. I just put those things in place and I've done this long enough, the reason I won't eat a certain thing is because I know at the end I just don't even really feel that good. I don't need to learn that lesson over.
But it's really about putting systems in place for people, and they think I train 900 hours a week. I don't, I'm just really consistent. And so it works, I call it priming the pump, where once the water's flowing, you just have to be consistent and change it up just enough, so you can keep getting progress and change, because we're smart.
And diverse food, try to change that up too, because we need all the different vitamins and minerals, even though that's hard, because of our soil. But nothing revolutionary, except that I stay curious. I stay open-minded to new ideas and training, not like bounce all over, but just keep my eyes open.
Robbie Shaw:
Golly, that's good stuff. We all need somebody to aspire to be like, and it sounds like you had someone or something help you figure that out a long time ago.
Gabby Reece:
Well, no, I grew up in a way that was very unsettled. And so I think when I got a taste of discipline and having something to be tethered to, it made me feel good. I think when people feel anxious, they're maybe not tethered to something. And I think that part of the routine helps me feel grounded, and I can keep seeing a North Star, so when I'm off kilter, I have a righting mechanism to help me, at least schlog through it. And I want to remind people that they should aspire just to be the very, very best version of themselves, because that's the magic.
Robbie Shaw:
Right. But that is the hurdle for so many people. We'd all love to feel good all the time. But how many people live life not that way, and know that they're doing that? So it's like this way in and way out.
Patrick Balsley:
You hit the nail on the head with the consistency, and the fact that you've stuck with this for so long, and have been able to refine your practices and your disciplines and remained open.
Gabby Reece:
There is a responsibility to be like, oh, you show up in your life and participate. Does it mean in your family? Does it mean in your community? Whatever that means. The one thing sport taught me and I had a coach in college that taught me and it was really, really valuable and it starts with personal accountability. And so I think if people could just take even the worst shit about themselves, it doesn't matter, because by the way, we all have it, and just pull it out of the corners, pull it from out under the bed, pull it from the rug, shove it all into the middle of the floor.
Do you have one or two people you can go bit by bit through the whole thing and be like, "I'm feeling like this. I'm scared of this. I don't like that. This is how I feel about myself," whatever it is? And literally get through it, and people can look at you and be like, "Uh-huh (affirmative). Yeah. Okay." And you realize like, oh wait, it's normal. Offload that stuff, be completely accountable.
Having said that, it goes back to still be able to put up healthy boundaries. So you may not blame someone, but you might be like, I’m going to create this dynamic that works still, healthily for me. That's the power of personal accountability, is also then the right to say, "This is what works for me."
And so just slowly going through that, peeling away the crap that we think is so bad about ourselves, or something that's bad that's happened to us, and really see if we can let go of... It's a narrative, right?
We all are living in these narratives. How do we take the accountability and go, "Okay. Oh, I see that? And if this is happening to me, maybe, what is it that's going on with me that I'm vibrating, that this is coming?" And just kind of try to see what that's like, because it's liberating. I'll tell my husband sometimes, "Hey, can I share? I have this super thought. I have a mean thought about this person over here. And I have my teeth in it a little bit, and I want to let go of it, but I need to say this at least to one person, how much I think they suck."
Robbie Shaw:
I love it.
Gabby Reece:
It's like, just get into it, but be accountable. I had a volleyball coach that was like, "Yo, this is about total accountability because then that's when we have the power. Oh, I don't like that. I'm going to change that. I feel this way. How do I feel different." Versus when we get spinning and it's- all happening to us, I think that's really hard.
Patrick Balsley:
That's exactly why we decided to do this podcast, was to have people start to look at their relationships with alcohol. And we feel like there's so much going on and alcohol is such an ingrained part of our society and our culture, that what you just talked about, about that spin all around us, we forget to hold ourselves accountable in certain areas of our lives. And it seems like alcohol is a pretty damn destructive thing in a lot of people's lives. And a lot of that destruction is solely caused by the fact that people aren't taking the time and aren't really looking at their relationship to it.
Gabby Reece:
Well, it's confusing too. I grew up in the Caribbean, and all the adults, for the most part, drink a ton. And so I didn't, because I could see, even as a real little kid, like, oh, wow, that's destructive.
And I remember thinking that felt less safe. Living with Laird and him drinking wine, and then when he stopped, for example, very good friends said, "I liked you better when you drank, you were more fun when you drank." It's all that. And I'd go to like the nicest people in the world, and they would be okay with their kids getting drunk, but God forbid they smoked weed.
Robbie Shaw:
It's actually good for your heart.
Gabby Reece:
Yeah. It's four ounces by the way, if you want to get into the technicalities of red wine and what's good. It's, literally, a thimble full.
Robbie Shaw:
But you could also get what's good out of that somewhere else.
Gabby Reece:
Yes. Or say you're European, let's just say, your friend, and they have a glass of wine with dinner. Okay.
Patrick Balsley:
Nobody does that.
Gabby Reece:
But I do, I think people have to cut themselves some slack. So if they're in it or they're dealing with it, it's a real addiction, it's everywhere. It's not like you can't go into the liquor store and be like, "Hey, can I get a bottle?"
And they're going to be like, "Ooh." It's like, it's so readily available. But, again, I interviewed Michael Easter who wrote The Comfort Crisis and he talked about having this epiphany and got sober. And I said, "Well, what would be the first thing you would say to somebody who is battling this?" And he goes, "You're not a bad person." Because shame keeps us from everything great, right?
Like I said, I never had that particular issue. I mean, we all have versions of how we try to take the edge off, feel better. Maybe people have social anxiety, whatever it is. And so to understand, it's all okay, but if it's hurting your life, what do you want to do? And also, I know it's possible. So many people have come through it and it's possible. And so why can't it be possible for them? It doesn't mean it's easy. I didn't say it was easy.
I don't know what in life is easy, and why we've even put words like, that's hard and that's easy. I think that's all life. It's all part of it. It's like me talking about parenting. It's so hard. It's great. There were great hugs, but it's not like that was hard and that was easy. It's like, it's all part of the whole thing. And I think once we start to look at everything like that, it freaks us out less.
Robbie Shaw:
It's all growth though. It's growth.
Gabby Reece on Parenting by Example
Patrick Balsley:
Now that we're kind of in the alcohol world, and we've already touched on this, because we delved into the parenting piece. That's a topic we've discussed quite a few times here, some of the prevention stuff, but also in the parenting world. And we've already kind of touched on how to parent in other ways. And I assume, in the realm of drugs and alcohol, it's probably pretty similar, a similar strategy, and lead by example, "Don't do that. Yet, I'm doing it," kind of thing. How can you speak to that? How would you parent around that topic?
Gabby Reece:
Listen, we don't live in a fairytale in this house. We've gone through some bumps in the road. So we went through something with one of my daughters, and it was pretty difficult, and it was around things like this and some other stuff. But what I realized is that it actually worked, even though it was hard, because she was completely transparent with us, right?
So instead of being like, I can't believe that this happened or we went through this or this has been going on, it was like, "Oh, okay, let's get the help that we need. Let's ask for help." Which by the way, you'll never get it right the first time.
Patrick Balsley:
We know plenty about that.
Gabby Reece:
Also, I want to say to people, too, if you ever do have a teenager and they need to go to a facility, be very careful of those places. I have a lot of friends and we talked a lot about this, where they will tell a young person, "Oh, you're this, you're this, and you're this." It's like, "Huh? So you're labeling young people and making them think that their whole life. Versus “you might be going through a hard time or you might have experimented and you don't have the right physiology. What is the process for you having the tools to help yourself?"
So I also want to encourage people if they are looking for something for a young person, be very careful about those long-term stays. Because that's also very good business, I've seen some weird things.
Robbie Shaw:
So have we. So have we.
Gabby Reece:
So I would say, keep asking questions. What I try to tell my children is, "Listen, at the end of the day, what you have to realize is anything that you do, of course, I care and it will bum me out. But at the end of the day, this is your life. If you do something because you think you're going to hurt another person, not so much. I mean your dad and I, we'd be sad, but this is your life. This is your opportunity. This is the way you're going to express yourself. This is your path. And we're here to love and support you."
I think sometimes giving them that sense of power, but if there's something to talk about or something to get through, then let's figure out how to do that. But I will say, if a parent's listening, if your kid's even discussing these things with you or sharing, this is the success.
Because, weirdly, if they can get through some of the weird stuff before they leave the house, it's a gift, because you're there and you can help them. As hard as it is, that's the opportunity and it sucks. And it's so uncomfortable and scary and nobody prepares you for things. And if you just stick by them and love them and keep showing up, it just feels like it works out.
The other trick that I'm trying to learn, that I'm trying to do better is, even when I think about them, if I know they're going through a bumpy time, they're going to figure it out. They're going to make it. It's going to be okay.
Patrick Balsley:
I really admire the communication piece and opening up those healthy lines of communication between a parent and an adult child, adolescent child, even kids in their early teens. Just the fact that they feel safe having conversations around stuff like this inside their home, I think is the key.
Alcohol and Optimal Performance
Robbie Shaw:
Yeah. Like you said, that's success. I've got an 11-year-old girl, Patrick's got some younger kids, so this is gold. Thank you. One more question in the alcohol world, as you have XPT, and, well, HIGHX, right? That was the other one.
Gabby Reece:
Yeah. That's programming I created by accident quite a few years ago. I used to do a Dollar Workout, and we're trying to build a facility now in Kauai, they shut the gym. So I put together this curriculum that I used to say to them, "Well, it's a dictatorship. It's not a democracy." Because it was Dollar, so they were all on my insurance. And out of that I used 50 or 60 people to kind of flush us through. It actually got NASM gave it CEC points, the whole thing.
Robbie Shaw:
Cool, cool. So my question would be, you've got these people that are following the philosophies and the missions of XPT and HIGHX, when you speak to them, is there an alcohol drug component for optimal performance?
Gabby Reece:
I don't personally. But it's been interesting, when we do have XPT events, because a lot of the people who come to participate seem to be the men. They are aware of Laird removing alcohol from his life, and inevitably on those events, they'll be like, "So how did you do it?" They're really looking, also, for themselves, so I would say only in those events, do I see when those participants come that they will move and congregate towards Laird, where there's an opening and really talk about it.
Robbie Shaw:
That's great. Because we are in recovery, I mean, I get that all the time.
Gabby Reece:
And it's beautiful.
Gabby Reece:
I used to joke with Laird that, on the occasions that he would drink, I'd say, you know what? Just keep going until all the girls are through like 16, because then they will never touch alcohol. And he was like, "That is not nice." And I was like, "Well at least we'd get something positive out of it."
Takeaways for starting your wellness journey
Robbie Shaw:
We got to create a little silver lining. That's funny. Well, we have gotten nugget, after nugget, after nugget with you Gabby. I cannot thank you enough. Typically, we like to leave our audience with some short takeaways. Give us the top three, how to get going, making some big changes.
Gabby Reece:
First of all, just take whatever worst habit you have, and can you either cut it back or take it out? You don't have to do an overhaul, start there. So if you smoke cigarettes, can you smoke less, to eventually not smoke at all? I think if you're drinking anything other than coffee, and when I say coffee, I don't mean double macchiato, because that's got a lot of sugar and things like that. Just to simplify that, Americans drink 20% of their calories, so there's a real easy way to simplify your life. And make an appointment with a friend three days a week to go, if you're not really doing much, just to start walking somewhere, if you like to ride your bike somewhere, just go outside, but make an appointment. Be accountable to that person.
Again, if you can, just get to bed an hour earlier. If you go to bed later than 10 o'clock, let's say start to bring it back 15 minutes every week and get to 10 o'clock. And people can say, "Well, I have small children. I have work." I understand that, this is just where we're trying.
And then breathing is very simple. Other than if you're sprinting or you just did anything that was highly cardiovascular, everywhere you go, you should have your mouth closed and you should be nose breathing, and also less breaths per minute. So notice, for those listening, three parts breath, your belly, you're opening your lower ribs, and then the back area. If you could slowly bring your breath into those three parts and get your inhales and exhales. So seven seconds in, and even when you get stuck, just try to breathe in through your nose. Just keep trying to breathe through your nose. And when you exhale, gently, bring your belly button to your spine, but stay in length. You don't want to compress forward.
If you can get your breaths down to about four or five full sets per minute they'll down regulate. They'll go into their parasympathetic. If you're talking about a sense of wellbeing, they'll calm themselves down and that's involuntarily. They won't have to sit there in their monkey mind and be like, "I got to relax. I got to relax." It's like just slow the breathing down, close your mouth.
And what happens is your CO2 rises in your system when your mouth is closed. So now your body's actually absorbing the oxygen and going into your cells and into your muscle tissue, which overall supports good health. So if people feel stressed, the first thing you can do is check in with your breathing, slow that way down. Because if we're mouth breathing, we're dumping our CO2. We're speeding up the breath. We're breathing into our chest, which then puts us into our sympathetic, our fight or flight. We want to slow it all down, close our mouth, bring it into our belly. If you're sitting at your desk, if you're driving in your car, if you're dealing with your three year old, just see if you can stay in the nose. So, I mean, those are very basic tips. And if you said to me, do one? Do the breathing, right?
Be as nice to yourself as you are to everyone else. We're all valuable. I always say, "We're all somebody, and we're all nobody." And I think it's really important for people to know that they're special, regardless of if they've made some bad choices or what have you, and just keep working towards it.
Robbie Shaw:
So I'm going to run through it, baby step a bad habit, accountability, better sleep, breathing practices, self- compassion.
Gabby Reece:
And eat a little less. Most of us eat too much.
Patrick Balsley:
It's been really cool getting to know you today, and I really appreciate you coming on and taking your time to share yourself with us.
Gabby Reece:
Well, I appreciate that you guys are dedicating a space to support people, because I think it's important. And it's important for all of us to support each other, because on top of it, right now, it's even a little more of a crazy time. So I really appreciate that you guys are doing that.
Robbie Shaw:
The information and opinion shared on this podcast are solely those of the hosts and guests, and are not a substitute for medical advice. If you feel like you may need professional help, here are some resources: for the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration hotline, call 1-800-662-4357 or visit smsa.gov; for listeners in the Charlotte, North Carolina community, visit dilworthcenter.org or call (704) 372-6969, or visit theblanchardinstitute.com or call (704) 288-1097.